When Offering a Seat on the Bus Goes Wrong

The other day, I found myself on an overcrowded Brisbane bus during peak hour. It was one of those rides where passengers were shoulder to shoulder, clinging to handrails, shopping bags, and what little patience remained. In the middle of the chaos, I noticed an elderly woman struggling to steady herself as the bus jerked forward. It felt like the right thing to do — so I stood up and offered her my seat.

What happened next completely surprised me.

Instead of a smile or a polite refusal, she snapped, “I am not that old, you know!” Her tone was sharp. I stood there awkwardly, hand still motioning to the seat, caught off guard by her reaction. It was not meant as an insult. I had only meant to be courteous.

A few people around us raised their eyebrows. Some looked entertained, others quickly looked away, probably relieved they were not the ones being scolded in public. I slowly sat back down, unsure whether I had done something good or something wrong.

This incident made me think. Has public transport etiquette become too complicated? For decades, it was a sign of respect to offer your seat to someone older, visibly tired, or struggling with mobility. But now, even small gestures seem to carry unintended messages.

In hindsight, I do not regret offering the seat. I would still do the same again — but perhaps with a slight adjustment. A simple question like, “Would you like to sit?” might be better. It offers help without assuming anything about the other person’s age or ability. That small change in language can make all the difference.

In a world where everyone seems a bit more guarded or defensive, even kindness can be misread. That should not stop us from being kind. Yes, you might be misunderstood, but that does not mean the gesture was wrong.

So the next time you are on a crowded bus, and you see someone who may need a seat more than you do, go ahead and offer it — kindly, respectfully, and without assumptions. You might get a thank you. You might get a glare. But at least you tried to do the decent thing. And that still counts for something.