When People Ask Questions but Ignore the Answer

Have you ever been in a position where someone asked you a question, and you gave the most accurate and honest answer you could, only to be completely ignored? It stings. You do not even expect applause or recognition. You just expect a fair hearing. But what happens instead? Someone else, often from the inner circle, gives a completely off-track answer, and suddenly that becomes the gospel truth.

It feels like there is a quiet kind of narcissism involved. Some people do not actually want an answer. They just want to hear what they already believe or to confirm something from someone they already favor. The actual facts do not matter. The quality of the answer does not matter. It is all about who says it.

This happens in offices, families, meetings, even casual conversations. You stay quiet, mind your own business, but when someone looks you in the eye and asks a direct question, you feel obligated to give a thoughtful response. Then, your answer gets brushed aside as if it was never spoken. But when someone else repeats a less accurate version with confidence, heads nod and praises follow.

If you are the type of person who does not actually want an answer—especially not a correct one—please do not ask the question in the first place. Some people take the time to answer carefully, drawing from experience, knowledge, and common sense. To have that dismissed without thought is more than rude. It is disheartening.

Some questions deserve an honest answer. And if you are not ready to receive one, perhaps the better choice is silence.

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