Nostradamus Predicted Everything… Even Sneezing?

It seems like no matter what happens in the world — a war, an election, a celebrity breakup, or even a big sneeze — someone, somewhere will pop up and declare, “Nostradamus predicted this!”

A volcano erupts? Nostradamus saw it coming. A politician resigns? Yep, it's right there in the 16th-century rhymes. A new phone gets released? Let me guess… Nostradamus wrote, “The glass apple shall glow thrice before the people mumble in unison.”

Seriously, what didn’t this guy predict?

There’s a certain charm to it, of course. Who doesn’t enjoy the mysterious wisdom of a bearded Frenchman from 500 years ago? But at this point, it feels like Nostradamus is being resurrected more often than a soap opera character. Every news headline comes with a side serving of “...as foretold by Nostradamus.”

And let’s not forget the number of times the world was supposed to end. According to various interpretations, we should have disappeared by fire, flood, alien invasion, or sandwich-related disaster at least 12 times by now. Yet, here we are — still complaining about traffic and reheating leftovers.

It makes you wonder if Nostradamus ever meant any of this. Maybe he was just writing fancy poetry while sipping wine, and centuries later, we’ve turned him into a mystical weatherman of doom.

Next time something major happens — or even something minor — keep an eye out. Someone will post an obscure quatrain, declare it a “match,” and the prophecy party begins again.

At this rate, if I stub my toe tomorrow, I fully expect to read, “Nostradamus predicted sore toes in the age of concrete.”